What goes through my mind?

Recently a teenage boy hanged himself on the seafront. On my fishing hole!!! My daughter knew someone who knew him. I have to do something. Anything! I’ve been critical of groups who use less effective methods of outreach, preaching a weak gospel. But who am I to talk? At least they’re doing something! What am I doing?

I’m out wandering on the seafront. What thoughts go through my head?

- I love being outside! Such a gorgeous evening!
- I’m scared! Why am I still nervous about sharing my faith?
- Lord, please use me!
- Even if I’m so paralysed by fear that can’t say anything, at least get them to accept a tract!
- Where is everybody?
- I wonder if I’ll see one of those foxes tonight.
- If the only thing I do tonight is put a tract in that phone box and pray for whoever picks it up, at least I’ve done something!
- What if I make a fool of myself?
- Lord, please make it a good conversation. Don’t let them tie me in knots! Build my confidence up.
- I’m doing so little. But at least this is something!
- Hey - there’s a bunch of people hanging around and chatting. Brilliant - I’m excited! And Gulp - I’m scared!
- “Hello folks!! Can I give you some of these? Here you are. Got a few minutes for a chat? Anyone here from a Christian background? What do you reckon happens to people when they die? What, everyone? What about Hitler? What about the Yorkshire Ripper?”

I end up chatting to a young lady, ‘Ellie’ about 22 years old who’s really nice, and quite moral. This nearly puts me off my stride. She even thinks she’s a good person and has only ever told ‘white lies’. Says she’s never stolen anything! I speak to her gently, but fairly loudly because a good few others are listening in. Her friend looks Asian. She tells other people to be quiet because she’s interested.

- More £million notes. Ellie eagerly takes a Chick booklet as well.
- How did I do? I paused at one of her questions and almost faltered at one point!
- I wasn’t as good as Tony Miano, or Kirk Cameron. I hope something came across well.
- At least they have something to read!
- Thank you Lord! Please pursue those youngsters with your Spirit!